July
2012...
The continuous
buzzing, interrupted by a gradual beep woke Devon up. She looked around the room, a little bit
disoriented, trying to remember where she was.
Then that was when she recalled that she was rushed at the hospital last
night. She saw Dianne and Danica,
sleeping on the couch, with textbooks lying open on their laps.
She looked at
her sisters, they are probably exhausted.
It has been a tiring month. This confinement has been her second, during
this month alone. The first one lasted
for a week. She has no idea, how long
this second one will be.
There was a
bunch of flowers and balloons on a table at a far-end of the room. It looks like somebody has already visited her
while she was asleep.
Her BiPap
machine was sitting beside her bed. The
BiPap machine, a ventilation equipment, was something that they were able to
purchase because of the fun run.
However, not all of the money raised through the event went to her
medical needs. On Devon’s insistence, part of the money raised was donated to
an ALS support group.
Much has
changed over the course of short month.
It seems like the day she gave the speech in the fun run was the last
intelligible conversation she was able to make.
Just a week after that, James noticed that the way she was speaking was
already starting to waver.
Devon was
always nearly out of breath after just a few words. She feels that her tongue is starting to be
stiff. There were times when her jaw
refuses to move. She now fears that her
speech clock is starting to wind down.
In a few months, she now realized she would not be able to speak
again.
The funds
raised through the fun run also helped them purchase a communicator
machine. This was actually a face of the
reality that everybody was hesitant to acknowledge. The loss of ability to move can be accepted
and they can work around with it. But
the loss of her voice, her inability to communicate with friends and family is
like losing her, altogether.
Her speech
therapist has guided and helped her understand the need of pre-recording
messages when the day it was impossible for her to speak comes. To exercise her
reflexes, she would record messages on the speech device, things which will
help all of them in the future. By using her right thumb, the only finger she
could move, she was able to choose letters and navigate through her
communicator.
She closed her
eyes and tried to will herself to go back to sleep. She heard the door opening, and her sisters
stirring on the coach. Devon slowly opened her eyes and saw James approaching
her bead with a bag of food, followed by Dr. Alvarez.
“Hello
sunshine,” James greeted, approaching her and planting a kiss on her
forehead. Devon gave him a small
smile. “Just woke up?”
Devon
nodded. And looked at Dr. Alvarez,
raising her eyebrows.
“How is my
favourite patient doing,” asked Dr. Alvarez.
A nurse followed him, giving him Devon’s records. He looked at it before
taking a closer look at Devon.
“Still
breathing, but with severe bad breath,” Devon croaked. “Don’t get too close, I haven’t brushed my
teeth yet.”
Dr. Alvarez
cracked a smile. “Still breathing and funny,” Dr. Alvarez remarked.
James smiled
at his wife. There was a point in their
lives when Devon was very depressed about the disease. But now, as her condition worsens and during
the direst situations, it seems that her positive outlook and humour is
returning.
“How are you
feeling,” Dr. Alvarez asked. “Are you
feeling any kind of pain?”
Devon gave a
little shake of her head. Dr. Alvarez
nodded.
While being
wheeled to the emergency room, Devon passed out from intense pain. She can’t understand where the pain was
coming from. It feels like every inch of
her body was burning with it.
“Technically,
it’s the same infection,” Dr. Alvarez reported.
“The same thing that has infected you two weeks ago, came back. But
we’re already giving you antibiotics, and we would like you to stay for a few
more days for observation. Okay?” Dr. Alvarez asked both Devon and James.
Devon
nodded. She wants to go home and rest on
her bed instead, but she does not want to go against Dr. Alvarez’ orders.
Devon’s breathing
grew a little heavier. She felt her head
spinning a little bit. She looked at her
BiPap machine. James noticed it. He
immediately stood up, the nurse realizing what James intend to do, assisted in
hooking Devon with the machine. She
settled down on her pillows and wiggled her eyebrows to show that she’s already
alright.
The BiPap
covers most of her face, making her unable to talk. The past few days would often require her to
have the mask most of the day, making her unable to talk. Dr. Alvarez has already noted how often Devon
has been hooked-up at the machine and realized that it could also be one of the
reasons why she was battling the same chronic sinus infection. Her frequent use of the BiPap is already
affecting her eating.
Dr. Alvarez
approached James.
“I’ll just
finish my rounds, then I’ll be back,” Dr. Alvarez said. “We need to talk about
something.”
Dr. Alvarez
patted James’ shoulder before leaving the room.
There was a soft knock on the door.
It opened and Shey’s head popped.
“Hi,” Shey
quietly greeted, putting on a huge smile on her ways. But her eyes showed, otherwise. They were puffed and red, probably because of
crying.
James noticed
this and looked at Ivan. Ivan made a
brief nod, acknowledging what James has noticed.
“How are
you,” Shey asked, approaching
Devon.
Devon looked
at Shey and wiggled her eyebrows. Her
thumb made an almost unnoticeable movement.
“I am okay,”
Devon’s pre-recorded voice from her speech device answered.
“That’s good
to hear,” Shey soothed. “You scared the wits out of me last
night.” Shey’s voice trailed, quivering
a little bit. She bit her lower lip.
“Don’t do that again, okay?”
“Sure, bebe,”
Devon’s digital voice answered again.
“Your
recordings are the worst,” Shey managed a shaky laugh.
Last night was
scary. It was the worst that they have seen.
Devon has been screaming, crying, gasping for air, and her eyes dilated
before she closed them and lost consciousness while being taken to the
emergency room.
A few minutes
later, Shey noticed a message typed on the computer screen.
“You wimp,”
Shey read. “There’s more to come. Ha. Ha.”
It was not
funny, Shey’s bottom lip quivered again.
If she opens her mouth, she’s sure going to cry. Ivan noticed this and
jumped in the conversation.
“I
agree with you. Shey’s a complete wimp. She almost fainted in the emergency
room last night when a kid with a broken wrist came in,” Ivan shared.
Shey
hit Ivan on the stomach. The story was
not true, but Shey was grateful. Ivan
pretended to wince.
“We’ll
come back later, a child with a scraped knee might come in and we have to take
Shey to emergency,” Ivan joked, placing his hands on Shey’s shoulders guiding
her out to the door. “But before that
happens, I need to eat.”
“We’ll
be back later, we’ll just be in the canteen,”
Shey waved. James thought she
won’t be able to make it out the door.
But Ivan managed to take Shey out without a single tear.
James
thought he heard Shey’s faint sobs behind the closed door. Everyone is trying to hold-up, trying to match
Devon’s positivity. Another soft knock
on the door.
“You
have a lot of visitors,” Diane greeted.
It
opened and Mr. And Mrs. Rocafort came into view. Mrs. Rocafort was holding a takeout bag from
the Resort’s restaurant.
“Hi,”
Mrs. Rocafort greeted, approaching James and kissing him on the cheek. “I called your nanay and heard that they went
home for a while to change clothes. I
told them to rest a bit and we can stay here with you.”
“How
are you sweetheart,” Mrs. Rocafort asked Devon, kissing her on the forehead.
Devon
wiggled her eyebrows, still her BiPap making her unable to speak. She pressed the same recording saying that
she’s okay.
Mrs.
Rocafort gave her a warm smile and started to talk to Devon’s sisters.
“Have
you girls eaten,” Mrs. Rocafort asked. She motioned for the two to eat on the
far-end dining table. Mr. Rocafort
meanwhile, walked besides James.
“How
is she,” Mr. Rocafort asked, his voice without the edge and iciness. Sometimes
it surprised James that his father was able to direct questions and sentences
towards her wife without any trace of contempt.
“She’s
a bit better but Ninong would like to
keep her inside for a few more days,” James shared.
Mr.
Rocafort nodded. He leaned towards Devon and squeezed her hand. It was a simple
gesture but it means a lot. Another soft
knock came to the door and Dr. Alvarez came in again.
“James,
I just need to ask you to check some details on Devon’s medical history,” Dr.
Alvarez stated, indicating James to go outside.
Mrs.
Rocafort waved at James. “Go,” she said. “I’ll watch her.”
“I’ll
come with you,” Mr. Rocafort volunteered.
James
gave Devon a kiss on the forehead. “Will
be back, baby,” he greeted. “Why don’t
you sleep and rest.”
Devon’s
eyes smiled and her eyebrows shot up and down.
James
and Mr. Rocafort followed Dr. Alvarez out of the room. Once outside and the door firmly closed,
James asked about the record.
“The
record was just an excuse,” Dr. Alvarez reasoned out. “I just need to talk to
you alone regarding Devon’s condition.”
James
felt his heart started to pound. Whatever this conversation will be, he does
not like the way his ninong is starting it.
“We
know that Devon is struggling with her breathing. The BiPap is a great machine
for her, but she can’t eat while she’s on it. And you have to admit, she’s been
spending most of her time with it strapped on her face,” Dr. Alvarez
started. “She’s also been suffering from
infections because of it.”
“So
what are you saying,” Mr. Rocafort asked his friend.
“Given
that there’re a lot of things to consider in terms of her health, we should
start thinking about other breathing options. There’s a procedure called
tracheostomy,” Dr. Alvarez explained.
“It’s a surgical procedure where an opening is made through the neck
into the windpipe to allow the use of a breathing tube and hooked up with a
ventilator. It will not only her
breathing but also her swallowing will be easier...”
“We’re
making a hole on her neck?!” James reacted loudly, when Dr. Alvarez’s words
finally sunk in. He looked appalled and
angry at what Dr. Alvarez is suggesting them.
“It’s
just a suggestion,” Dr. Alvarez said calmingly.
Most patients and families were taken aback when tracheostomy is
suggested. “The decision will still be
yours.”
James
looked completely overwhelmed with Dr. Alvarez’s suggestion. Mr. Rocafort sensing his son’s discomfort and
shock decided to take matters on his own hands.
“Pare,” Mr. Rocafort started. “We do
understand that you have Devon’s best interest in mind, but this is shocking
for us, give us time to think about it.”
Dr.
Alvarez nodded. “I am not asking you to make a decision now, however, I feel
that you need to know about other possible solutions. There are pros and cons
that you should also know when deciding to make a tracheostomy.”
Mr.
Rocafort nodded.
“And
while we’re at it,” Mr. Rocafort continued.
“I heard that there’s a clinic in Singapore specializing in ALS that is
conducting clinical trials. Have you
heard about this?”
“I
did,” Dr. Alvarez eagerly answered. “I
was actually about to suggest that but that will still be James’ and Devon’s
decision.”
“What
is this about,” James asked.
“Well,
I found out through several colleagues
that a prestigious clinic in Singapore are conducting clinical trials to
slow down ALS progression thru several
therapies,” Dr. Alvarez shared. “Now,
these are trials. There are no means to
say if it will help in slowing down the disease’s progression. If you want, we can ask them to include Devon
as part of the study group.”
James
digested the idea.
“They’re
testing for a cure?” James asked.
Dr.
Alvarez shook his head. “Not a cure,
James. Just therapies to slow down the
disease. If it will work on Devon’s
case, then it’s like buying her more time. It’s free, since it is a clinical
trial.”
“No
worries about the air fare or any kind of additional expenses. I’ll handle that,” Mr. Rocafort assured his
son.
“But
is she strong enough to fly that far,” James asked worriedly.
“Well,
we have to wait for her condition to stabilize before she can fly,” Dr. Alvarez
answered.
James
looked at his father.
“It’s
up to you and Devon,” Mr. Rocafort assured.
James
looked at Devon’s closed bedroom door. Clinical trials. No assurance. No cure. More
time. His thoughts were warring in his head.
“We’ll
talk about it,” James answered.
He
would give all his money and possessions away just for Devon to have more
time. More time with him.
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