Oct 5, 2010

Chances (Chapter Twelve)

(I was listening to this song while writing it, you may want to listen as you read.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrpSjXo6ah0 )

XII. Walking Away

The present…

James is looking at the clear, blue sky.  He is listening to Devon’s story and how they travelled to Baguio and how everything lasted for almost two days.  It was a weird and a funny story. He tried a few times to close his eyes and go back to that faithful day, but he could not.  He tried to get the memories back but all he sees is darkness with white spots.

James looked at Devon. She was sitting silently beside him. He looked around. They are in a gasoline station, that gasoline station, where they supposedly walked under the rain. Where they supposedly shared a kiss.  Supposedly.   He looked ahead.  They were sitting in a quiet corner, under a tree, away from the maddening cars which kept rolling unto to the station to get their tanks refilled.

Devon looked at the man sitting beside her.  It took them a few hours to get here. The trip was a silent one. James pretended to sleep, trying to avoid any conversation. Devon tried to get a shut-eye, too. But the emotions are too much to contain. This would be the turning point for her.

When James asked what they were doing in the gasoline station, Devon told him everything.  What happened two years ago. If it was able to trigger any memory, Devon could only guess, for his face showed or betrayed nothing.

How long is he going to be silent, thought Devon.  

What should I say to her, James kept thinking.  

James looked at Devon. For a slight second, he felt something warming his heart.  He wanted to touch her face, run his hand through her hair.  He wanted to pull her in his arms. Why? James asked himself. Why?

James averted his eyes and took a deep breath.  “Is that the reason why I broke the engagement with Allie?” James asked.

Devon could not answer. She was hoping more than that. She was hoping that he would know what happened next.

“Why you?” asked James bluntly. “I’m sorry, but I need to be honest Devon. Why you?”

Devon felt something pulling at her heart. “I don’t know.”

“Cause if I am happy with you, I would’ve remembered,”  James said.

Devon felt the pull became a squeeze. Her heart felt it was going to burst from the pain.  “I wanted to know why, too.”

“You know what,” James faced her. “I remember what kind of girl Allie was to me. She was the best. And I can’t understand why I would throw away something that I have shared with Allie for a long time for somebody that I have only met a few times.”

“If I have the answers to all your questions,” Devon responded. “I should have provided you the answers, two years ago.”

“You got me thinking,” James started to say but Devon placed her forefinger against his lips, signing him to be quiet.

“Don’t think,” Devon said.  She took her forefinger off his lips and placed it on his chest, on his heart. “Try to remember from here.”

James felt his heart hammering, as if it is straining and trying to get near to Devon’s warm hand. He brushed her hand away.  “The heart can only feel, it does not remember anything.”

“Then make it feel me,” Devon silently answered. Her eyes are now misting.  She knows that this trip, this conversation is going nowhere.  

James looked at Devon, drawn to her misting eyes.  He swallowed and looked away, “Bottom line is I can’t remember you, nor how it feels to be with you. And we have to accept that.”

James stood up and was about to walk away.  

“What about me?” Devon asked, her voice shaking. “What about me? I remember everything, I still feel the same.  You’ll leave as if nothing happened? What about me?”

James did not look back. “Then you have to forget.”  He started to walk away. I don’t want to be cruel, but it’s the best for everybody.

Devon watched James walking away. Leaving her, forgetting her.  She felt as if she lost all her energy, her knees became weak and the tears can no longer be controlled.  

“What about me?” Devon sobbed. And once blue sky seemed to be understand her, for it started to rain.


It was almost nine o’clock in the evening, Allie was on the telephone chatting with a friend, when the doorbell in her condo unit buzzed. She was not expecting anybody.  She ended the call and opened the door, and was surprised to see the person standing outside her door.

It was James.

“What are you doing here,” asked Allie. She looked behind him and saw that nobody was with him.

James then walked towards Allie and hugged her.  Allie knew that moment.  He chose me, Allie said to herself bewildered.

“Could I sleep here?” asked James. “I’m really tired and my head is really aching.”

“Yes, of course, “ answered Allie.

James sat down on the couch and looked at Allie who was sitting on the opposite chair.  “Devon and I talked,”  James started. “We ended things.”  Allie’s heart jumped and she could not help but smile. James gave a weak smile, “I guess you know what that meant.”

Allie nodded and walked towards James, she hugged him. He’s back, she whispered.

James winced as if he was in pain. “Do you have anything for headaches? My head is killing me,” James asked.

“Of course, I do,” answered Allie. “You know that I have a complete medicine kit here.  I’ll get you some. Have you eaten?”

James tried to listen to Allie, but his head is really hurting. Allie was rambling about what they should have for dinner, and that he should call his Dad about his whereabouts.  James stretched on the couch, placed his arms under his head. This is the right thing to do, he convinced himself. It is useless to hold unto something that you can’t even vaguely picture.

He closed his eyes and thought about what happened and what would be waiting for him the next day.  But the last image that flashed in his mind was the sad eyes of somebody who kept asking him and made him think if he was selfish, “what about me?”

When Allie came back, James was already asleep on the couch. She went inside the bedroom and got a pillow and a blanket. There is no use in waking him up, he needs to rest.

Allie was watching James sleep when she heard her cellphone ringing.  She walked towards it and found that it was Bren calling.  She answered the call, “Yes, Bren.”

“Hello, Allie,” Bren greeted. “Is James there?”

“Yes, he is here,” said Allie, glancing at the sleeping man.  “He’s sleeping on the couch.”

“You have to send him home,” Bren said.

“Why?” asked Allie.

“Cause it will complicate things,” Bren explained. “He’s getting married, Allie.”

“He told me, he already ended it,” answered Allie.

Bren went quiet and Allie could feel that the guy she was talking was uneasy. “Allie,” Bren said softly. “He has amnesia. He’s confused. He does not need to make this decision now.”

Allie went quiet. He’s back, she thought. “But he already did,” answered Allie. “He made the decision and decided to come back, to me.”

Bren heard how Allie emphasized the last two words. “Allie,” Bren started, ready to reason out with her.

Allie cut Bren off and answered firmly, “Bren, please understand James’s decision. He went back to me. He chose me.”

Allie ended the call and looked at James. She heard raindrops against the window sill  and quickly walked towards the window.  She closed the windows and watched the rain, drenching the entire Manila. Funny, it was too sunny and hot earlier, Allie thought.


Liana said...

maybe the raindrop were because of devon's tears. James why are like that to devon?! your hurting her! But anyways its with the story. Ms bite whens the next chaptie. im so excited with it. as if im part of the story even though im not. hehehe.. :D

Magallanes.Herzel said...

super nice po talaga... hoping to read the next chapters soon.. :)

paul_kagaguhan0215 said...

aww. iyak ako. :'(

bLaCk VaNiTy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bLaCk VaNiTy said...

..im sure the sky is sympathizing with devon..james why are you so cruel?...tsk3..i hope he can regain his memory back..i'll wait for the next chap ms. bite... :)

jak said...

ayhetchu james!! youre hurting devon!!taking advantage naman ang allie!!echosera!!! ahehe!! ano ba ito,,super affected naman ako!!lowla bite,, next na po!!!

Marisa said...

hay naku james!!
eh may nafefeel karin namang warm sensations towards devon ah! ewan ko sayo!

“What about me? I remember everything, I still feel the same. You’ll leave as if nothing happened?" < oh devon!!! should i pity you? be strong...

"We ended things." < how dare you say "we" james? you fool!!! ikaw nakipagkalas...
sheeeeyyyyttt!! nangungulot bengs ko..

miss bite!!! i soooooooooooo love BREN here!!!
hindi ko alam ano connect ha..pero he's hawt!!!haha!!

bitemegenesis said...


Sometimes the mind tries to disregard what the body would like to say...

Nangyari na ba sayo yung inaantok ka pero pinipilit mong magising. Magigising ka ng baka thirty minutes or less, pero makakatulog ka pa din? Parang ganun lang si James. hehehe..

atsaka, baket ba masyado kang affected?? hahahaaha! i love bren, too. very sensible. :D

maraming salamat sa mga nagbabasa ng fanfic ko! suuper. :D

lhee said...

lula bite, kahit naman sino maaapektuhan sa ff mo haha! ganyan ka kahalimaw magsulat hehe

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